Breaking Down Every 2024 Presidential Candidate’s Election Chances

2024 us presidential election candidates

There’s not much movement on the Vegas election odds boards lately (aside from Donald Trump’s ascent to betting favorite for 2024), so we’re going to break down the big board and discuss the possible Presidential hopefuls thereon.

Specifically, we’re going to talk about those with no chance whatsoever to be elected President in the 2024 election. Of course, we’ll also fill you in on who each and every potential candidate actually is.  

The following odds come from Bovada Sportsbook, which surprisingly boasts an even bigger menu of laughables than BetOnline.

2024 Presidential Election Odds – Winner

  • Donald Trump (MAGA) +400

Current actual President and the last, best hope for America. The GOAT.  

  • Kamala Harris (D) +400

Current fake Vice President. Hugely unpopular, though with a better approval rating than the next guy.

  • Joe Biden (CCP) +450

The next guy.

  • Ron DeSantis (MAGALite) +750

Current governor of Florida and GOP heir apparent. When Trump hangs ‘em up, that is.

  • Nikki Haley (R) +2000

Former governor of South Carolina and UN ambassador under Trump. Popular, but not the GOP’s best bet.

  • Mike Pence (RINO) +2500

Former Vice President under Trump and turncoat swamp creature that no Republican voter will ever support again.

  • Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D) +3000

Current US House rep from New York. Not even the Democrats can stand this Green New Heel™.

  • Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (WWE) +3300

Professional wrestler, movie star, and owner of the XFL brand. The Rock won’t be President, by MyBookie Sportsbook has odds on whether or not he’ll play a game in the XFL once that spring football league recovers from COVID. The odds strongly favor “No” at -1500.

  • Michelle Obama (D) +3300

Former First Lady. Big Mike has indicated no real desire to run for public office.

  • Cory Booker (D) +4000

Current US Senator from Joisey. Nobody liked him in 2016, and nobody likes him now.

  • Elizabeth Warren (D) +4000

Current US Senator from Massachusetts, fake Indian, and heap big liar.

  • John Kasich (RINO) +4000

Former governor of Ohio. A real joke of a man.

  • Pete Buttigieg (D) +4000

Current US Secretary of Transportation overseeing the biggest production chain and logistics disaster in US history when he’s not on paternity leave. Useful beard for the left and its media arm, as critics are always just “homophobic.”  

  • Ted Cruz (Hard R) +4000

Current US Senator from Texas and erstwhile Presidential also-ran. He won’t run again any time soon.

  • Amy Klobuchar (D) +5000

US Senator from Minnesota. If the party didn’t want her as VP in 2016, they certainly won’t want her as POTUS in 2024.

  • Andrew Cuomo (D) +5000

Degenerate mass murdering former New York governor. As such, he has a pretty good chance to win the DNC nod.

  • Dan Crenshaw (RINO) +5000

Current US House rep from Texas. Has one eye, but it’s not on the ball. Swamp creature in the making, kept afloat by his former Navy Seal training.

  • Donald Trump Jr. (MAGA) +5000

Son of Donald and second best.

  • Josh Hawley (R) +5000

Current US Senator from Missouri. An OK choice if there’s no Trump or DeSantis on the 2024 ballot.

  • Kanye West (Birthday Party) +5000

Rapper, preacher, and fashion mogul. Has a few MAGA instincts, lives on a giant ranch in Wyoming, and just legally changed his name to Ye.

  • Kristi Noem (R) +5000

Current governor of South Dakota. Doesn’t believe in COVID lockdowns and vaccine mandates. Best choice for First Female President™.

  • Mark Cuban (NPA) +5000

Blowhard sportsball owner and TV reality star with no discernable personality.

  • Mike Pompeo (R) +5000

Former Director of the CIA and 70th US Secretary of State under Trump. No chance, but he seems all right.

  • Stacey Abrams (D) +5000

Some whiny loser from Georgia.

  • Tammy Duckworth (D) +5000

Current US Senator from Illinois. Combat wounded veteran in a party that doesn’t care about combat wounded veterans.

  • Tom Cotton (R) +5000

Current US Senator from Arkansas. Like Hawley, a great pick if MAGA/MAGALite isn’t on the ballot.

  • Andrew Yang (I) +6600

Former Democrat and multi-race political failure. Believes in socialist utopias and universal basic income. The COVID “stimulus” destroyed his arguments.

  • Beto O’Rourke (D) +6600

Current US House rep from Texas and fake Hispanic. His real name is Robert Francis O’Rourke, and he thinks he’s going to take your guns.

  • Candace Owens (R) +6600

Republican commentator, author, and activist. Doesn’t think excess melanin is a disability.

  • Gretchen Whitmer (D) +6600

Current governor of Michigan. Hated by all for her persistent tyrannical hypocrisy. Cuomo Lite™.

  • Paul Ryan (RINO) +6600

Former Speaker of the House and New John McCain™.

  • Val Demmings (D) +6600

Current US House rep from Florida. BetOnline misspelled her name (it’s actually “Demings”), but that’s a consequence of her being utterly unremarkable in every way.

  • Tulsi Gabbard (D) +8000

Current US House rep from Hawaii. Hated by her own party and has no future in the upper echelons of national politics.

  • Bernie Sanders (I) +10000

Current US Senator from Vermont. Democrat during election years, millionaire socialist the rest of the time.

  • Charlie Baker (RINO) +10000

Current governor of Massachusetts. Unremarkable in every way.

  • Condoleezza Rice (R) +10000

Director of the Hoover Institution and former US Secretary of State under Barack Obama. Her political clout with voters waned long ago.

  • David Portnoy (NPA) +10000

Founder of Barstool Sports, firebrand, and curmudgeon. Amusing on the Internet, but no chance of holding elected office at the national level.

  • George P. Bush (RINO) +10000

Current Land Commissioner of Texas. Looks just like his Low Energy™ daddy.

  • Greg Abbott (R) +10000

Current governor of Texas. Stands taller than most despite being wheelchair bound.

  • Hillary Clinton (D) +10000

Former and current unbelievable annoyance with no chance to hold future elected office and no desire to be reminded how much the entire world hates her.

  • Jamie Dimon (D) +10000

Some billionaire banker. No thanks.

  • Michael Bloomberg (D) +10000

Current “Special Envoy on Climate Ambition and Solutions to the United Nations” (LOL) and former mayor of NYC. Wasted over $600 million to run for the DNC nomination in 2020.

  • Mitt Romney (D) +10000

Current US Senator from Utah and well-known carpetbagger and turncoat. Not even worthy of the RINO label.

  • Rand Paul (R) +10000

Current US Senator from Kentucky. Good Libertarian bona fides. As such, no chance.

  • Tim Scott (R) +10000

Current US Senator from South Carolina and the new establishment pick to primary Trump. But he’s smarter than that, so he won’t be running.

  • Gavin Newsom (D) +15000

Current governor of California. Loathed by all but survived a recent recall election.

  • Jared Kushner (R?) +15000

Wife of Ivanka Trump, suspected wolf in sheep’s clothing. Not popular with MAGA voters.

  • Kayleigh McEnany +15000

Former White House Press Secretary under Trump. Political talking head.

  • Rick Scott (R) +15000

Current US Senator from Florida. A good pick if the top five or six better ones bow out for some reason.

  • Joe Kennedy III (D) +20000

Current US House rep from Massachusetts. Wrong dynasty, wrong time.

  • Lindsey Graham (R) +20000

Current US Senator from South Carolina. Briefly ran for President in 2016 before realizing that Trump’s the far better man.

  • Matthew McConaughey (D) +20000

Decent actor and car commercial narrator from Texas. Also, an annoying liberal.

  • Tommy Tuberville (R) +20000

Current US Senator from Alabama and former head coach of the Auburn Tigers. Too new to politics for a serious run.

2021 Joe Biden Presidential Mental Fitness Test Update

Via BetOnline Sportsbook

Will Joe Biden finish his first term as President?

  • Yes -175 (-175)
  • No +135 (+135)

If you think he has any hope whatsoever of finishing out his term, keep in mind that he’s less than a year into it. Bet accordingly.

What year will Joe Biden exit office?

  • 2025 -140 (-140)
  • Not Before 2026 +375 (+375)
  • 2022 +450 (+450)
  • 2023 +700 (+700)
  • 2024 +1400 (+1400)
  • 2021 +1500 (+1500)

We’ve discussed this line at length over the months, particularly regarding its demonstration of the utility of hedging one’s bets.

We’ve also covered the reasons why – unless Mother Nature comes calling ahead of time – it makes little sense for the left (or the right!) to replace Biden before January 20, 2023.

As such, you can still get some value taking 2023 and 2024 together at +700 and +1400, respectively.

As for the other dates, Biden likely won’t complete his term, so 2025 should be out. Meanwhile, Biden’s reelection chances are exactly nil, so 2026 is off the table, too.

Finally, 2021’s almost over, and if Biden’s ship is actually sinking (and boy, is it ever!), no Democrat is going to willingly tether themselves to the prow before the 2022 Midterms.

“VP” Kamala Harris is waiting in the wings, and she’ll have to wait a bit longer.

Will Joe Biden be impeached and removed from office?

  • No -1250 (-1250)
  • Yes +575 (+575)


Joe Biden Approval Rating By November 1, 2021

  • Over 44% -120 (44% -120)
  • Under 44% -120 (44% -120)

We’re a week and a half out from November 1, and Biden’s current approval rating at FiveThirtyEight is sitting at an abysmal 43.3%. Remember, the FiveThirtyEight aggregated average is what BetOnline uses to rate this particular wager.

Interestingly, the most recent poll from Quinnipiac has Basement Joe in the cellar with a pitiful 37% approval rating.

Even more interestingly, the same poll shows that among Republicans, 78% would like to see Trump run for office in 2024, which is up 12 points from 66% in May.

Of course, Quinnipiac is a famously slanted pollster (you can guess the side of the bias), so you should probably add 10 points to Trump and drop 10 more from Biden if you’re after a true snapshot of reality.