All Bets Are Off As Washington Loses Its Mind

donald trump smirking curiously

By the above, of course, we mean all bets are on as the petty tyrants in DC, fresh on their impending trifecta, seek to make powerplay after powerplay.

But first, a mea culpa: We were wrong.

These politicos and their state media lackeys – both mainstream and social – are going all out to memory hole Donald Trump, his allies in government, and his supporters in the public.

Not only did Twitter permanently ban The Donald (and eat a 10% dip in stock to do it), but Apple, Google, and Amazon shut down rival service Parler on the news that Trump was considering moving to the platform.

Instagram has suspended Trump.

Facebook has suspended Trump.  

The PGA has canceled the 2022 Championship event at Trump’s Bedminster course.

Trump’s alma mater has rescinded his degree.

Shopify has closed Trump’s web store.

Citi Bank has barred all processing of Trump campaign donations.

And, most egregiously of all, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has given Vice President Pence a 24-hour ultimatum to either invoke the 25th Amendment to remove Trump from office or the lower chamber will initiate a second round of Trump impeachment proceedings.

Now, none of this will do much to stop Trumpism (aka American populism), but it’s designed to prevent the President from ever being able to run for President again.

And therein lies the real news: If Trump was so unpopular and Biden had such a mandate with such a landslide victory, there would be no need to install a legal ban on Trump’s future candidacy.

He should, by rights, never be able to win another election, anyway.

But the left knows – as we all do – that Trump indeed won in 2020, garnering the most Republican votes in history along the way.

The left further knows that, with states controlling election laws – and with those states turning more red than blue in 2020 – it won’t be remotely as easy in the future to pull off the same kind of “upset” that Team Biden did in November.

At any rate, while you won’t find any yugely pertinent and pressing betting lines like state secession odds or US civil war odds (or World War III odds, for that matter) at any of the best Vegas political betting sites, BetOnline is still on top of the here and now with a smattering of stuff to take your mind off the staggering 1984-ness of it all:

2021 Donald Trump Prop Bets

Via BetOnline

Next Person To Tweet A Statement By Donald Trump

  • Rudy Giuliani +200   
  • Donald Trump Jr +225 
  • Ivanka Trump +300    
  • Kayleigh McEnany +400
  • Lindsey Graham +600  
  • Eric Trump +800
  • Ted Cruz +1200 
  • Josh Hawley +1400    
  • Tiffany Trump +2000  
  • Mike Pence +3300
  • Four Seasons Total Landscaping +4000 
  • Melania Trump +5000  

It seems like this political prop should be “Next Person To Be Banned By Twitter For Being Associated With Donald Trump.” And we would still have no idea.

So we’ll take “All Of The Above” for $1000, Ken.

Will Donald Trump still be POTUS on 1/19/2021?

  • Yes -300  
  • No +200   

It seems unlikely that Mike Pence’s treachery would go so far as to spearhead the removal of Trump via the 25th Amendment.

Pence’s political career is already over, the book deals will be lucrative, and there’s no reason to spur 80 million pissed off Americans even further forward on the frontlines.

We’re siding with the crowd here and taking “Yes” at -300.

First Platform To Remove Suspension Of Trump Account

  • Facebook -200  
  • Instagram +150 

After the Twitter permaban, it seems unlikely that either of the above platforms will be emboldened enough to rescind its suspensions of Trump unless forced to by fiat.

Which isn’t happening, since the Section 230 ship has sailed for now.

Plus, given that Instagram is owned by Facebook, and given that these two bans happened in tandem, they’d also be lifted in tandem on the off chance that Trump’s allowed back in – in which case, this wager would push.

We advise holding off.

Will Donald Trump be reinstated on Twitter before 1/20/21?

  • No -10000 
  • Yes +2000

Twitter has announced that the Trump ban is permanent, but if the company’s stock continues its nosedive, that could all change.

Still, despite being virulently antigun, these social media gatekeepers tend to stick to theirs.

We’d take the “No,” but at -10000 odds, you’d be investing an awful lot of scratch for a very meager payout, given the betting limits in play.   

What will Donald Trump use as a burner Twitter handle?

  • @FortyFivePOTUS +250 
  • @MAGATRIOT +300
  • @FireAndFuryPrez +400
  • @BigDickTrump +500   
  • @BiglyBoy +600 
  • @NoSmallHands +700   
  • @MasklessDon +1000   
  • @NuclearCanes +1000  
  • @GrabHerPussy +1200  
  • @ProudBoyTrump +1200 
  • @FreeViaGettyNow +1400    
  • @NoBallsPence +1600  
  • @BuiltAWallKinda +2000

We have taken the liberty of looking up the above Twitter handles to see which ones are available and which are registered and/or disabled.


  • @FortyFivePOTUS – Suspended
  • @MAGATRIOT – Exists, 0 Following, 0 Followers, 0 Tweets
  • @BigDickTrump – Suspended
  • @BiglyBoy – Suspended
  • @GrabHerPussy – Suspended
  • @ProudBoyTrump – Exists, 0 Following, 0 Followers, 0 Tweets


  • @FireAndFuryPrez
  • @NoSmallHands
  • @MasklessDon
  • @NuclearCanes
  • @FreeViaGettyNow
  • @NoBallsPence
  • @BuiltAWallKinda

Our in-depth research notwithstanding, this is a gag line and is not meant to be taken seriously. Trump won’t be using any of these account handles for any reason.

But, as before, literal props to BetOnline for the laughs.

First Non-Extradition Country Trump Enters

  • Russia +200    
  • United Arab Emirates +250 
  • Qatar +300
  • Morocco +500   
  • Brunei +700    
  • Montenegro +800
  • Ukraine +800   
  • Saudi Arabia +900    
  • Indonesia +1400
  • Mongolia +1400 
  • Jordan +2000   
  • Lebanon +2000  
  • Cambodia +2800 
  • Georgia +2800  
  • Vatican City +5000   
  • Vietnam +5000  
  • Libya +7500    
  • China +8000    

Obviously, the answer is Cambodia by way of the Vatican City with a stopover in Indonesia before settling in Vietnam with a vacation home in Libya.

Next Trump Family Member To Have Twitter Account Removed

  • Donald Trump Jr. -150
  • Ivanka Trump +200    
  • Eric Trump +300
  • Tiffany Trump +500

If Twitter and your various social media betters want to make sure MAGA is adequately blacklisted and that nobody with any Trump DNA has a chance to build a massive following leading into 2024, then the favorite here is hard to argue against.

DJTJR at -150 is our pick.

Twitter Stock Price At Close On 1/15/21

  • Over $50 US -120   
  • Under $50 US -120  

After Twitter dropped the banhammer on Trump, the company’s stock fell sharply, plummeting from $51.48 per share on Friday to $47.15 per share on Monday.

It seems like the company should easily close at over $50 by the end of trading on Friday, but anything can happen between now and then, and we’re not confident in either choice.

Frankly, without Trump, we’re not even sure why Twitter exists – or how it can continue to.

Well, there you have it – another day, another batch of Trump betting odds.

But as always, if you see a prop bet you like, you need to jump on it ASAP, because these won’t be up for more than a day or two at most.