The 2021 Presidential inauguration is going to be the lamest political event you’re ever likely to not see, and the odds at the best Vegas political betting sites reflect that.
With the only people in attendance slated to be a cavalcade of National Guard troops (because, you know, months-long riots causing billions of dollars in damages and dozens of deaths nationwide warranted adoration and fawning while a broken window and stolen laptop over at the sacrosanct federal capitol is clearly a bridge too far), you can watch this thing on CSPAN 4 or whatever channel your overpriced cable package adds to your archaic menu of outdated and irrelevant nonsense.
But – and this is the only good part – you can also bet on the Joe Biden inauguration at MyBookie Sportsbook, which has now posted props on par with the man himself.
Folks, we are talking utterly wimpy vanilla nonsense, here. Blonde leg hairs and all.
But betting is betting, and not all political prop bets have to be exciting, controversial, or otherwise compelling beyond their ability to make you money if you hit the nail on its senile old head.
So without further ado:
2021 Presidential Inauguration Odds
Which Amtrak service will Joe Biden use on Jan. 20?
- 7:36 AM EST from Wilmington +125
- 8:35 AM EST from Wilmington +200
- 8:51 AM EST from Wilmington +300
- 8:01 AM EST from Wilmington +400
- 9:17 AM EST from Wilmington +400
- 9:34 AM EST from Wilmington +400
- 5:22 AM EST from Wilmington +600
- 7:11 AM EST from Wilmington +600
- 9:58 AM EST from Wilmington +1200
- 10:29 AM EST from Wilmington +1500
We weren’t aware Presidents and other top-level public officials rode on Amtrak trains to go to major events, so your guess is as good as ours.
Given the outsize security of this particular thing, “none of the above” seems to be the most prudent course of action, here.
Plus, who cares?
This is the most boring prop in the history of boring props.
Will Joe Biden take the Presidential Oath in front of the Capitol?
- Yes -500
- No +250
Probably. But a digital Zoom backdrop of the Capitol doesn’t count.
What color tie will Joe Biden be wearing at the inauguration?
- Blue -150
- Black +120
- Grey +225
- Red +250
- Purple +300
Given the way he allegedly won, “Purple” seems to be the most fitting choice.
Will Joe Biden greet Mike Pence with a handshake, fist bump, or elbow bump at the inauguration?
- Yes -190
- No +145
Republicans carry the coronavirus trait, so probably not. But then again, Mike Pence isn’t really a Republican, is he?
Or maybe he’s just the most Republican Republican to ever Republican.
Will Donald Trump be in Washington DC on Inauguration Day?
- No -250
- Yes +170
Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows? Who cares?
If headspace counted, he’d be there ad infinitum, though.
Will Trump be in Mar-A-Lago on Inauguration Day?
- Yes -120
- No -120
Maybe. Maybe not. Who know? Who cares?
That said, it is conceivable that Trump – who has access to airplanes and can go wherever he wants whenever he wants – could start the day in DC and end it in Mar-A-Lago.
Picking “Yes” for both this and the above wager could be a shrewd play.
Number Of Times Donald Trump Jr Tweets On Jan. 20
- Over 2.5 -150
- Under 2.5 +110
If he’s still on the platform, you should probably take the over. But that’s a big “if.”
Will Joe Biden be photographed on the balcony of the White House on Jan. 20?
- No -250
- Yes +170
Sure, why not?
But also, what a boring prop. This is almost as vanilla as that Amtrak schedule nonsense.
Will Joe Biden attend the Jan. 20 virtual inauguration event from the Oval Office?
- No -150
- Yes +110
All Basement Joe does is attend virtual events. That’s how he “won” the election, so why would he stop now?
But we’ve got to ask: Is there anything more pathetic than a “virtual inauguration” for President of the United States of America?
No. No there isn’t.
Will Joe and Jill Biden share a dance at the virtual inauguration ceremony?
- Yes -300
- No +200
These millionaire politicos always do their awkward best to pretend to be folksy, so this will probably happen.
Note: Jill propping Joe up by the elbow and slow-walking him through a room so he doesn’t fall over on camera does not count as “dancing.”
Will Donald Trump Jr. be suspended from Twitter on Jan. 20?
- No -220
- Yes +155
At this point, the social media giants are deplatforming everyone who doesn’t toe the far left line, so your guess is as good as ours as to whether or not they’ll keep poking the bear.
That’s all for the specific 2021 Presidential inauguration betting odds, but each major election gambling outlet has other props, too.
Also, now that Trump has been impeached a second time for the horrendous crime of calling for completely peaceful protests (instead of merely Mostly Peaceful Protests™, which seem to be totally government-sanctioned and media-approved), today is the first time that Biden has more Presidential impeachment odds than The Donald!
Those odds come from BetOnline, along with several other tangential lines:
2021 Joe Biden Odds
Will Joe Biden leave office via impeachment?
- No -1500
- Yes +600
No. If the establishment wants him out, they have but to simply ask.
Will Joe Biden complete his first term as US President?
- Yes -175
- No +135
What year will Kamala Harris become US President?
- 2025 +250
- 2024 +300
- 2023 +350
- 2021 +400
- 2022 +400
2022. Mark it on your calendar.
Finally, despite Trump becoming the first US President to be impeached twice (in a single term, no less, which is something we actually called when he was impeached the first time around), there are no props posted for Trump conviction in the US Senate.
Since this could happen even after he leaves office – and since it would have the effect of barring Trump from ever running for President again (side note: What exactly is the left so afraid of if they won 2020 fair and square in a historic landslide?) – we’re surprised there aren’t any lines regarding the topic.
That said, there are lines that speak to the probable outcome of the second impeachment, which seem to favor acquittal in the Senate.
This is because Trump Sr. is featured prominently inside the top 10 on the 2024 Presidential odds boards at all the best Vegas election betting sites (excepting MyBookie, which appears to believe that the DJT Era is officially over):
- Kamala Harris +450
- Joe Biden +600
- Donald Trump +800
- Nikki Haley +1200
- Andrew Yang +1600
- Mike Pence +1600
- Michelle Obama +2000
- Pete Buttigieg +2000
- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez +2500
- Bernie Sanders +2500
- Kamala Harris +400
- Joe Biden +500
- Mike Pence +600
- Nikki Haley +1400
- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez +1600
- Ron DeSantis +1800
- Michelle Obama +2500
- Donald Trump Sr. +3300
- Andrew Yang +4000
- Josh Hawley +4000
- Joe Biden +100
- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez +300
- Kamala Harris +350
- Elizabeth Warren +800
- Bernie Sanders +1000
- Michelle Obama +1000
- Andrew Cuomo +1200
- Ted Cruz +1200
- Josh Hawley +1200
- Tom Cotton +1500